prøve

sådan det her er en prøve, bare ignorer, det kører.

Dear God, please give me too many money by the end of the day and too little calories - Not the other way around anymore, thank you.

I binge. I pretend to shop.

Lana del Rey

Just got this and I love it. Can't wait to hear her live next spring! Listen to it here.

New name

I changed from the little pretender (a wordplay on the Queen song "The Great Pretender") to White Lioness. I don't want to pretend to be present in my life anymore, I want to be what I truly am, my spirit animal. 

Currently

Today I went to McD with two of my friends, I had a chicken salsa cheese, we had a lot of fun in the car, and it was just great. Then I went home, got Ben&Jerry's and did some imaginary internet-shopping. I'm doing okay btw :) this week I've consumed 1000 calories pr. day, and I've only binged once which was yesterday. I'm down to my normal weight, but would still like to lose 2 kg more. 

Current ideas for the future:

- Volunteer! While in high school: Locally. After high school: In EU

- Become a chaospilot

- Be an intern at an office in California

Current wanted fashions:

Current calendar: 

Tomorrow - Ginger Frederik's b-day party+dinner

Day after tomorrow - "Æbleskive hygge" with my boyfriend's family

Monday - Cupcake-date with Sophie (reminder to myself: last chance for free Topshop shipping) 

Tuesday - Dance lancier at school

Wednesday - Buy cake supplies

Thursday - Make rainbow cake for the school's cake contest

Friday - Prom at school :) + Hopefully I get my paychecks, haha

Saturday - First day of December!

Sunday - Christmas cookie baking with my mom and bro

Current looks:

Current inspiration blog: http://ginajaqueline.com/

























Current thoughts of myself:
I am good at two things; Being a leader and baking. I was born to do the former and the latter is meditative for me.

Inner peace

Releasing endorphins, d.i.y. style

Self-destruction

"I felt like destroying something beautiful."

- Fight Club

“Destruction can be beautiful to some people. Don’t ask me why. And if they can’t find anything to destroy, they destroy themselves.”

- John Knowles

For the last couple of weeks, I've felt like destroying myself, or the idea of Frida. It has had consequences in the form of worried friends, almost breaking up with my boyfriend because of self-hatred, bruises, scars, shame, tears, feeling sick and getting aches, loss of any kind of ambition or motivation, quitting my job and gym-membership, disappointment, refusal to be social, a gain of around 4 kilos, and giving up on being truly happy. I've basically lost myself and let myself go. 

I won't say everything have changed today. But I know one thing: I don't want to be miserable anymore. And, I want to be myself now. Not hide, be ashamed, hold myself back, be a stand-in in my own life. That's also why I think all this mess has been necessary. I'd gotten myself up on a piedestal,  because so many things went right here in senior year, and I was trying to live up to what everyone thought the idea of Frida should be. I was a social winner, but an inner loser. Now, I don't care if I'm a social loser in other's eyes, but sure as heck I'm going to be an inner winner.

A note on my dreams after high school: I think my motives have been wrong. I shouldn't do it to escape, or as a 'last resort'. I should do it because it would bring my happiness and adventures. It's all about perspective y'know.